Wish-fulfillment at its worst: A critique of The Idea of You

Expect spoilers.

It’s funny how not-fun the The Idea of You is considering it’s probably the purest wish-fulfillment fantasy I’ve ever seen.

Okay, I hear you wondering, isn’t all romance wish-fulfillment?

Yes, to a degree. It’s not unusual for people to dream of love and a happy ending, and romance provides readers with a way to live and relive that kind of wish.

And I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! Escapism really isn’t a problem, unless it’s somehow getting in the way of your real life. (And I don’t think it gets in the way very often.)

So why am I making a big deal about wish-fulfillment in The Idea of You?

I shall explain.

About a boy band

The Idea of You is the story of 40-year-old Solène (Anne Hathaway), who cute-meets boy band star Hayes (Nicholas Galitzine) when she accidentally uses his washroom while reluctantly chaperoning her late-teen daughter to Coachella.

Hayes takes a fancy to her, dedicates a song to her, shows up at her art gallery, buys up all her stock, and whisks her away (without her daughter knowing, ssh!) to be an unlikely groupie on his boy band world tour!

Post tour, Hayes moves into Solène’s house in the ‘burbs and answers the door in his robe, while her ex shakes his fist in rage, and the paparazzi snap pictures from across the street.

But let’s get back to that wish-fulfillment thing…

In this movie, Solène:

  • Is whisked away… 
  • Is wooed and pursued and DESIRED by a rich, famous, successful man (who her daughter kind of likes)…
  • Has her financial obligations taken away…
  • Is taken on an adventure…
  • Has secret, passionate sex…
  • Has the world see her as desired and desirable…
  • Has her ex get some comeuppance after ditching her for a young woman

All of this, all of it, is pure wish-fulfillment.

There’s no realism here. There’s no attempt at it.

The problem with wish-fulfillment

The problem with wish-fulfillment is that it’s an idea of what the ideal looks like (maybe that’s where the title came from?). No one has to learn or grow, they just have to meet the beats. For example:

  1. The prince sees a beautiful, hard-done-by peasant girl.
  2. The prince falls instantly in love.
  3. The girl is instantly in love, too. (Duh! He’s a prince, right?)
  4. The prince whisks the girl into a life of glamour, status, and leisure.
  5. Happily. Ever. After.

You could substitute the prince for t.v.’s The Bachelor, if you wanted, since every woman is automatically in love with him – not because they know him at all, but because the producers chose him for the show.

You don’t need real characters in a story like this. The story has already been told!

And it’s fine. It’s satisfying on some level. But, ultimately, it’s not really that satisfying. You need real characters to be truly satisfied.

Flat characters

The characters in The Idea of You don’t seem real. (Maybe that’s where the title comes from?)

We never find out what motivates Hayes. He’s barely a character in the movie at all. He’s just this cardboard cutout of a human being, there to fulfill the fantasy.

(And the gall of making Nicholas Galitzine play a cardboard character! Please! Give this guy something to work with, people!)

Even Solène is two-dimensional.

She can do no wrong!! Mostly because she doesn’t do anything! Everything, everything in this movie happens to her. She’s swept away in this fantasy of a young, hot, famous man pursuing her (out of the blue) without her even having to try!

And when she and Hayes part ways, it’s not because of some character flaw one of them has to overcome, it’s because Solène is just Too Good a Mother. She can’t subject her (oblivious, near adult) daughter (who I don’t think she has a single real conversation with in the movie) to all those darned paparazzi, no no! So she’ll walk away, and leave the future to chance.

She’s really just as cardboard as Hayes.

Tone troubles

But you know, it could have worked.

Like I said, wish-fulfillment isn’t a problem, per se…

The big problem with this film is its ultra self-serious tone. The tone just doesn’t work paired with extreme wish-fulfillment.

At every step, it takes itself just WAY too seriously. There is no humour. Solène’s art gallery is high end to the extreme. Solène isn’t a fan of Hayes’ boy band, of course not! She’s way too serious and important for that. So of course they don’t reconnect until he’s become an uber-serious solo musician, and therefore respectable.

And her name is Solène.

I rest my case.

Better wish fulfillment

This movie makes me think of Pretty Woman, another wish-fulfillment fantasy. In Pretty Woman, you’ve got Julia Roberts as prostitute Vivian who is whisked into a fantasy world where an attractive, rich, successful businessman kisses her and buys her nice things and gives her luxurious surroundings and falls in love with her.

But instead of going for a realistic, ultra-serious tone, we get Vivian (or Julia) hiding the fact that she’s flossing in the bathroom, singing along with her headphones in the tub, cornering a sports car like its ‘on rails’, laughing delightedly when she nearly gets her hand caught in a jewellery box, and getting her revenge on mean store clerks.

You’ve got a lot more fun, charm, and playfulness! So the viewer can understand why Richard Gere’s Edward falls for Vivian, even though she’s a ‘lady of the night’.

If Julia had played Vivian more realistically – all dark and broken – I’m pretty sure Pretty Woman wouldn’t have worked. At all.

Most cowardly ending ever

The ending (or non-ending) of The Idea of You makes me sooooo annoyed!!

Five years pass from their breakup, and Hayes walks into Solène’s art gallery. And then…

Who knows? That’s where it ends.

In the book, as I understand it (I have not read the book, though I did try), the couple does not reunite.

Whaaaaa??? Does the author think she’s Joan Didion?? Does she think this is high art, and she needs to keep the ending realistic??

No. I refuse. This is a romance.

This story is not realistic IN ANY WAY!! It’s pure, unadulterated wish-fulfillment. It’s silly –  like, the silliest concept ever. It should be fun! There’s no point to a story like this if it doesn’t end happily.

So why, why, why would you give it an unhappy ending??

But at least the book has an ending.

Maybe the filmmakers realized an unhappy ending just didn’t make sense, but they didn’t want to totally contradict the book, either. So, half-ending. Choose your own adventure. And everyone’s satisfied. Right?

Wrong.

No one is satisfied.

I’m really tired of this… hedging, from filmmakers who clearly do not understand why people like romance, or what they like about it.

At least have the balls and the bravery to end the movie decisively, one way or the other.

Conclusion

As a middle-aged mother, I’m a little bit offended by The Idea of You – if this is actually someone’s idea of what women my age really want.

I outgrew fairy tales a long, long time ago.

What I want now is real characters, with agency. And to feel a real connection between the characters. I want conflict that stems from personal failings that the characters have to learn to overcome. 

I want a bit of wit. And maybe some novelty.

But mostly I want something fun that actually makes sense.

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